I've re written this three times.
It keeps turning into a rant that doesn't do Mr. Cooper's effort justice.
I'll confine my comments to this:
Stop freaking pretending, drop the pretense, the posing and the posturing.
Stop trying to impress the people at church, they are quite often un-impressible.
Just try as you can to be like Jesus in the ways that feel most regular and natural to you. Then watch for who is applauding your efforts. Hang out with those people.
When you find another person with whom you can be yourself, treasure that and then begin to look for another.
Talk to these people about real life and real failures and successes.
Don't settle for good enough.