I was reading with Heidi and the word "impeccable" came to my ears. It struck me that we so often use that idea to formulate our notion of spirituality. It means:
im·pec·ca·ble (adjective)
1. Having no flaws; perfect.
2. Incapable of sin or wrongdoing.
There was an inch or two of snow on the driveway this morning - the perfect whiteness was beautiful. Everything harmonized by a blanket of snow. When I went out to shovel it all off of the driveway I felt a little sad. I had to trade this clean look for the inevitable slush and mess that would follow.
As I looked more carefully at the snow I found one lone piece of salt resisting it's influence. It was holding out - making the beautiful white painting inconsistent - marred somehow. Just by being what it was - salt - the snow could not be what it was at least not in the same way.
When we see ourselves (or others) in the light of trying to be "impeccable" we commit
ourselves instantly to failure. Many will try to set the bar as high as they dare and then point wildly and shout "See look! Spirituality! Impeccability! It's possible!" But it's not. It looks good from afar, and at a glance, but once you look and see - it's marred by the salt on the driveway. It has to be - it's us.
I think that true spirituality is the unflinching gaze inward while Christ holds the magnifying glass. All He wants is for us to see ourselves as we truly are - how He sees us all the time. Once we do that the wonder of His love and the urge to rush to Him for healing and help will overwhelm us.
The "Impeccable Ideal" is out there for sale by all kinds of people, (usually on their 99 cent table) It seems to be the special favorite of those who throw words like "success," "excellence" and "efficiency" around.
How can I look intently at myself and the risen Christ of God and think any of those things? Mostly when I actually allow myself to look at Him and myself intentionally the words that come to me are "Why?" and "Thank-you!" My spirituality is messy organic and unpredictable - it's more like seasons and tides than strategies, stated goals, and talking points.
I can't take anymore the "Impeccable" guilt-mongers - Please just take your discount spirituality away - and if the door hits you in the butt on the way out - thanks for the laugh.
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"If you don't go within, you go without." Conversations with God - Book 1
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3 comments:
Keith-
So good to read what God is doing for you. How beautiful to know that the real goal of spirituality is not an impossible standard, but an understanding of the incredible love available to us. More and more I am learning that life is all about grace- grace for other people (especially roommates :-) and most importantly, accepting God's grace for me. Thanks for always being honest. I am praying for you. Much Love from PA!
here's to being that irritating little salt crystal who stands in the midst of the same and is different and refuses to give way! yipee!
keep being so salty babe!
Hi Laryssa!
I was so glad to hear from you - I miss you. How's School? I take from your comment that the "honeymoon" is over with your roomies. I was going to tell you they were psychotic and all before you left for school - but I figured...."she can just frame them for a class two felony and that should clear up all of the other issues all by itself."
Seriously though, You all probably take turns driving the crazy bus - ferrying each other to new vistas of temporary insanity. I'd stick to that grace idea though - I'd bet your on to something there.
I hope your family is all well and getting on as you hope. How's your car running? I seem to remember a Laryssa-mobile (or do I have you confused with someone else?) If I do have you confused - sorry for bringing up a sore subject. We are back to "sharing one vehicle" and it's hard at times.
Well, all my love - and please do tell Audrianna that I said "hello" and send her my love too.
If your talking to any of the gang remind them they can write or drop by my blog.
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